


House Trained Angel

by iceprinceloki



Series: Stress Relief [40]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Frustrated Dean Winchester, Gen, Human Castiel, Hunter Dean, In The Woods, Irritated Dean, Sam Ships It, Understanding Sam Winchester, potty training
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2016-10-03
Packaged: 2018-08-19 09:53:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8200783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iceprinceloki/pseuds/iceprinceloki
Summary: Cas becomes human and discovers an unpleasant side to mortality, the Winchesters of course are there to teach him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Requested by libby!

Sam, Dean and Cas ran through the forest away from the other angels and demons that were fighting. When they felt that they were far enough away they stopped and took a breather.

“Man what was all that?!” Dean demanded to know, glaring at Cas. “Why didn’t you get us out of there?”

Cas shook his head with a pained expression. “My powers are gone, I can’t explain it.”

Sam grabbed Dean and held him back from attacking the angel. “It won’t do us any good if you beat Cas up!”

Dean huffed and shrugged Sam off. “We’re stuck out here with no plan and no way of getting back to my car, how should I react Sam?!”

Cas groaned and pressed a hand to his stomach. “There is something wrong with my vessel. It feels as though it may burst.”

Sam and Dean exchanged uncertain looks and slowly Sam approached the angel.

“You don’t mean that literally do you?”

Cas shrugged anxiously. “I don’t understand what it’s telling me! There’s all this pressure building in my abdominal area.” 

“Dude you need to piss.” Dean said bluntly, frowning at the angel. “What the fuck is up with that?”

“Piss?” Cas looked worried. “Is that safe?”

Sam placed a reassuring hand on Castiel’s shoulder. “It’s a human thing, I don’t know why you’re experiencing it..it may have to do with why your powers are gone.”

“Well go find a tree and make it quick!” Dean grumbled, sitting on a fallen tree with a scowl on his face.

“A...tree?” Cas said softly.

Dean gave him a look and nodded. “Yea a tree to piss on.”

Cas stared blankly at him and Sam cleared his throat gruffly.

“Dean I don’t think Cas knows how to do that.”

Dean gave Sam his bitchface and turned expectantly to Cas. “You know how to piss?”

Cas shook his head slowly.

“Seriously? Your job is to watch humans but you have never seen one piss?” Dean scowled at Cas.

Cas shrugged. “I didn’t want to invade privacy.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Okay go to a tree.”

Cas did as the older man said. “Now what?”

“Open your pants and pull out your dick and let it go!” Dean said, turning away and grabbing a few things off the ground.

Cas turned to the tree he’d chosen and opened his trousers. He frowned and looked at the two humans who were trying to ignore him. “What part is the dick? And why would I take hold of it and then let it go?”

Dean took a deep breath through his nose and his left eye twitched slightly, while Sam smothered a snort of laughter.

“The long bit.” Dean bit out.

“I don’t understand, none of it is longer than the rest?” Cas turned to them with his junk in his hands and Dean covered his eyes quickly, trying to recover from the sight.

“Turn around Cas! It’s the top section that’s long and not round.” Dean snapped, looking at Sam aghast.

Sam just covered his smile with a hand and tried to look innocent. Cas continued to look puzzled.

“Just go and show him, we’ll be here forever and he’s gonna get a UTI or something if he keeps holding out.” Sam said casually.

“I am not showing Cas his dick!” Dean said looking grossed out.

Sam gave him a meaningful look and Dean glare at him. “I’m not pissing next to him either.”

“Just do it Dean! You had like twenty beers today, you probably need it.”

Dean scowled but stomped over to Cas. “You’re doing this with us, and then it’s something we never talk about again got it?!” Dean looked at the other two seriously.

The three stood there around the tree with their junk out and Sam was the first to release his bladder. Cas watched him and finally got the right grip, he made a face of serious concentration and nothing happened.

“Cas?” Dean said lightly. “Thought you needed a piss?”

“I do, nothing is making it go out.” Cas said. “It won’t leave my body.”

“Just relax Cas, you’re too tense.” Sam finished up and tucked himself away.

Cas tried Sam’s advice and a little squirt shot out and nearly hit Dean’s booted foot. The hunter glared at the angel.

“Count your stars Cas….” He said with a dark look on his face. “Relax and aim carefully, point it where you want the piss to go and loosen up.”

Dean finished up and tucked himself away, watching Cas impatiently. Cas gave him a shifty look and a small amount of urine escaped the angel in short bursts.

“Seriously dude just get it over with!” Dean huffed.

“I can’t do it with you watching me.” Cas said slowly.

Dean’s bitchface reappeared. “You just learn how to piss and already you’ve got stage fright?”

Cas looked solemnly at Dean until the man walked away, grumbling about angels. As Dean got back to Sam he heard a flood of liquid hitting the tree and turned around in alarm. He and Sam stared in amazement at the amount Cas had built up. When the angel turned he was met with raised eyebrows and slack jaws.

“What? I never felt an urge before but my vessel still built up the fluid.” He said innocently.

Sam nodded slowly. “Let’s just get back to the bunker.”

“Seconded!” Dean agreed.

**Author's Note:**

> Accio Comments!


End file.
